Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Career Options

I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I don't have a lot of options as I don't have a lot of skills, education or training. To be honest, I'm kind of an A-hole and I have a lot of issues. I haven't worked a "real" job since I was seven months pregnant with Ansley. Not counting my little jaunt as  waitress at Colton's Steak house for about six weeks. I was the world's worst waitress. I had never waited tables and had always thought it would be fun. I've never been more wrong. If I ever waited on you, I would like to go ahead and apologize now. Sorry. I put my notice in on a Memorial Day. It went like this, "I'm not going to make it in today...or any other." I think they were probably happy to be shed of me.

For years,  I have been thinking of something I could do for a job.  I'm not really qualified to do much.

If I were younger, thinner and prettier I could be a Sprint Cup Girl. I can smile and pretend to be interested in what you're saying like nobody's business.

I could totally show up at our local news and draw the nightly lottery numbers. Heck, who am I kidding I think I could even nail being one of the reporters that show up at a restaurant and be appalled at their health score. Better yet, I could walk out from behind a tree with mic in hand and report a story that is happening in the background.

I could host Talk Soup or be a person on TMZ. I'm really good at watching TV.

After watching all the presidential debates, it makes me wonder if it is a person's job to pick out power ties for the debate. I could totally do that.

I'm positive with the right training I could be a sommelier. Getting the training would be the best part. I'd be all like, "I'm not sure I understand, can we try that one again."

I do like to work. It was really hard for me to stop working. I got my first job when I was fourteen at Blondie's. It was a pizza and sub shop. The "donor" worked there and got me the job. I've worked ever since then.  I really miss having a check with my name on it. At first, it was hard to spend money I didn't feel like I "earned." I've settled into the idea now and do a superb job of spending the check with Ryan's name on it.

I really do believe staying home with the kids is a super stressful job. To be cheesy, it really is the most rewarding. All of my kids are very smart and I take the credit for all of that. Haha.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Just a little flashback

 I don't know I doubt this is normal but we kept our bikes inside the house so they wouldn't get stolen. Keep in mind the size of our house. I grew up in Riverdale, GA just south of Atlanta. I didn't think it was a bad area to grow up my husband thinks differently. Waka Flocka Flame sings raps about it "But that happen often off in Riverdale, Georgia. You gone pay the life you live off in Riverdale,  Georgia. as does TI "whether in Miami, Cincinnati, or the  Riverdale" and "Riverdale to Center Hill all day" So people be singing about it. How bad can it be?

We had hardwood floors and when my mom would dust she would get Pledge overspray onto the floor. Once, my brother was chasing me down the hall (all five feet of it) and I ran into his bedroom. I slipped on the floors, stepped on a Sit-n-Spin and fell onto the bicycle pedals. Not just regular bicycle pedals, these had little metal thingys sticking up on them. I got a nice little gash on the forehead that required some stitches. I don't remember getting the stitches but can imagine being in the ER telling the story... yeah I slipped inside the house and landed on a bicycle. I'm sure this story pales in comparison to the time I got shot. Don't worry it was just a pump up pellet gun. The kid did shoot me on purpose though...

I love the life I lived as a kid. We had a lot of fun and looking back, some of the stories are really funny. I remember  sneaking beer out of a plastic pool after a neighbors party, I may have been six at the time. We would have gotten away with it but I believe my brother squealed and we all got in trouble. I remember the neighbors fighting and seeing my friends dad getting handcuffed to the decorative metalwork around their carport. Another neighbor's dad would rent limos and drink up the bar and get the driver to pull over. Then he would take off running to avoid paying the bill...I wonder if that ever really worked. Sounds like a solid plan. Oh and I could never forget the mom at the end of the street that would get drunk and cut the grass in her "high" heels (pun intended) and a bikini. We also had some hoarders in the neighborhood. They were hoarders before hoarding was cool. They had a nice little path that went through the house. I just remember that their dad would come in from work and fall asleep on the couch with his eyes open, snuggled up with their dog. It's weird the random things your mind holds onto. We also had some lesbians in the neighborhood. I just remember seeing the "butch" one cutting the grass. I'm not sure If I knew they were lesbians at the time...I just knew something wasn't quite right. I also remember an older man attempted suicide in his shed in the back yard, he was the nicest man. That part wasn't so fun. OMGosh,  I almost forgot! We also had a motorcycle gang in the neighborhood. They even parked their motorcycles in their living room! You can't make this stuff up. I guess if you're going to live in a shady neighborhood you need a bigger house because you need room inside to park all your bikes.

I know I'm leaving out some stuff, so if you're from the old hood feel free to add you own stories.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Old School Party

When I was a kid, birthday parties weren't strategically planned events. I just remember the neighborhood kids showing up after dinner in their mustard colored, reinforced knee Garanimals. If you were lucky someone would show up with a card with a dollar for every year you were old. Most just showed up, told you happy birthday, shared some cake, ice cream and some laughs. Never an outrageous amount of kids showed up. The kitchen was crowded when our family of four was at the table. Haha as I typed that I remembered the chair that I sat was up against the window. If I wanted to get up I had to crawl under the table because there wasn't enough room to slide behind my mom's chair and the cabinets in the kitchen. Things were simple and nobody seemed to mind. It was our birthday and it felt special to us.

Sunday was ChaChi's eighth birthday. I usually go a little overboard on the kid's birthdays. I know I'm not the only one. Ansley went to a party a few weeks ago that was in a limo! I've never even been in a limo. The girls met after school and ate at Zaxby's then were driven across town to a yogurt shop. They had all kind of little party favors. She had an absolute blast.  Anyway,  I told myself that I wasn't going to do that this year. I did have a company come out that does lazer tag(I know the correct spelling is with an S but I prefer the Z) in your back yard. I didn't put up the first decoration. I didn't even buy matching plates and cups! In fact a kid asked me for a napkin and I told him to use his sleeve. I didn't buy chips to throw in a bowl, which quite honestly all those hands getting chips freak me out! I bought little bottles of water and juice boxes and had them in a cooler. I bought a cupcake cake and individual ice creams. We sang happy birthday and I threw everything on a plate, a regular dixie plate. I didn't put together treat bags either. I mean really, who thought of this little tradition? Probably the same mom that thought of the snack rotation after athletic activities. I loathe the treat bags! Halloween was just a week ago and I figured the last thing kids needed was more candy. Sure, I could have gotten little trinkety stuff for treat bags but does anyone really like getting that stuff? ChaChi is a junior hoarder and weeks after parties I am forced to sneak around hiding that crap in the garbage. I felt like I was doing everyone a favor. 

The cake
 Getting the lazer tag instructions. All listening very intently.

 Even the dad's had fun...maybe a little too much fun.
 Best part of the day.

 Even Bret showed up for the party. I bet he wishes I gave out treat bags.

 See my non themed plates?
 Nana and ChaChi
 They even brought gifts for Ansley. Go Dawgs!

I think it was a great party even without decorations and treat bags! If you agree and wish mom's would get back to keeping things simple please share my post. If treat bags can catch on surely anything can. Oh, and if anyone knows where I can find a zebra painted, stretch limo let me know. Ansley has a birthday in April and I should probably get to planning. 

Thursday, November 1, 2012


I have always loved Halloween. I don't think I ever skipped a year of trick or treating. You can do that when you get pregnant at seventeen. You trick or treat way beyond the age you should. Then you have a baby and take him trick or treating in a stroller. Magical really. Last night was no exception. One of Ansley's friends invited us to join them on their hayride. They had a little get together at her house before and then we all piled on the  trailer to go trick or treating. Ok, here's where it was a little uncomfortable for me. We showed up at the party with adult beverages. It's not like we showed up with 24oz  Lime-A-Ritas in brown bags. We are not heathens! I had my red wine in a black Georgia Bulldog Tervis tumbler, complete with a matching lid and a straw. Those straws are so nice and extra big, if they were only tinted instead of clear. I'm not sure but it may have been frowned upon. It never occurred to me to ask if it were a dry party. I mean I've never gone to a dry Halloween party. Awwwwwkward. Has this ever happened to you? What do you do?

Some new people moved into the neighborhood about two weeks ago. Which by the way, their garage looks way better than ours. We still can't park a car inside ours. This pressured inspired me to empty out ten or so more boxes Tuesday. The lady that just moved in already has a decoration hanging on her door and some decorative pots sitting out. I had already decided that we couldn't be friends because she is obviously way more awesome than I. She even works! We actually had lunch earlier today on a field trip with our sons who are in the same grade.

What do you know? She is also friends with the folks having the party so she and her family were there too. We actually shared a hay bale in the back of the truck all night. It was great fun. She admitted to me that she has a fear of boxes which I found totally weird and I loved it! I have a lot of fears and it was nice to meet someone with a fear stranger than mine.

Pre Halloween pumpkin carving.

 ChaChi was Tom Cruise in Risky Business.
 Ansley was running with scissors.

I was the Sun Drop girl. I was surprised that a lot of people didn't know who I was! If you don't know, you should google it! Or go to www. It cracks me up!
 The loot!

 I really wish I would have taken my camera on the hayride. People do Halloween right around here! Lots of hayrides, people sitting at the end of their driveways with fires going to pass out candy and of course tons of kids! Another successful Halloween. Now if we only get invited back next year...