Snack Rotation

Here it is, the dreaded snack rotation schedule.

How did this become a thing? I swear I don't remember this going down when I played sports. Did our moms and dads do this? I don't think they did. They were way too smart,. All I remember is taking a pacman thermos with all it's eight ounces of water.

I cannot express how strongly I loathe the snack rotation. For so many reasons, I truly hate it. 

Today is my day, Sept. 12, ChaChi.

I will pick the kids up from school and get home around 3:45. We'll rush in, get dressed for cheer at 5:15 and a soccer game at 7:30 which is an hour away from where she will be cheering. I will have to remember everything from hair bows to shin guards. Now, on top of all of that I have to make sure I have snacks for thirteen kids. I will be lugging two chairs, a cooler full of water for ChaChi, a cooler for the team and a bag of snacks. Meanwhile, try to make sure my kids don't get flattened in the parking lot because it is straight up crazy getting in and out of there. Ryan should be able to help tonight but his schedule is so crazy, a lot of the times I'm alone. So I feel for you, single parents.

I know, I know, I sound like a total nag. I just think we could keep things more simple if we did away with this stupid idea. Who thought of this anyway? I bet they have their own little pinterest board dedicated to the snack rotation. Just let me be responsible for my kids and you be responsible for yours. When ChaChi was six, someone brought Gatorade and a Hershey Bar for a post-game snack! Are you freaking kidding me a Hershey Bar? What? Were you all out of Pixy Stix and heroin? Now, they bring cookies, chips or crackers and 22 oz. sports drinks. So if your kid has a 7:30 game it's over around 8:30 and then they chug this enormous amount of liquid right before bed. Uh Oh...looks like someone may wake up in a puddle. I don't know about you but I really try to limit the amount of brominated vegetable oil (google it, yep it's in a lot of sports drinks) and artificial dyes my kids consume. This snack rotation makes it hard. I swear, one day I'm going to coach something so that when that annoying parent asks, "Have you done the snack rotation?" I can say, "There will be no snack rotation." It will blow their snack loving mind!

I don't know why people think that after kids have played for a freaking hour they need a stupid snack! Ever think that is why people are so much more round than they were in the past. Kids are starting to have their cholesterol checked at age nine, nine, nine year olds have high cholesterol! Ok, I don't need to get started on that. After all, I have some sports drinks to buy.

If you agree with me, please share this post. Together, we can make a difference.

Tennis Skirts

Ladies, I just want you to know you're not fooling anyone wearing that tennis skirt. I've been by the tennis courts in this town and they are always as empty as Curves on Thanksgiving. I go to the zoo and you're there with your tennis skirt. I go to drop my kids off at school and you're there with your tennis skirt. I pick my kid up and you still have on that stupid skirt! If you really did play tennis shouldn't you be sweaty and gross? Instead, your makeup is flawless and your visor is still neatly in place. I've even been in Wal-Mart and you are there with your freaking tennis skirt. Are you expecting a tennis match to break out in the clearance section or something? Seriously? What is with the tennis skirts?

I know my habitual wearing of yoga pants or running shorts makes me look like a hypocrite because I assure you I haven't so much as done an downward dog. Basically, I'm not wearing pj's and you should be happy about that. I don't know why I find the tennis skirt so annoying. I've even seen them advertised as running skirts? Why? Why would you want to run in a skirt? I mean, I don't think even a pentecostal wants to run in a skirt.

Tennis anyone? Just kidding, let's just go get some lunch.

Dining Chair Do-Over

Before

This picture doesn't show just how gross this chair was but it was a nasty mess.

We took the chairs apart, sanded and primed them and sanded them again. I think we could have skipped the first sanding.

We made templates from the old chairs. We could have just removed the old fabric and cushions and used the old bottoms. I am crazy OCD so I preferred new. 

We sprayed them with a pressure fed pot sprayer using an oil based paint.

This was our first chair makeover and we had no clue what we were doing. So we did what every self-respecting  DIYer does, we YouTubed it. William Eisenberg at Eisenberg Upholstery has some great videos. He skips all the cheesy introductions and such and gets right to business. He'll even answer any questions that you have promptly. Super impressed with this guy.

Finished Project

Comfort Inn Daphne AL Review

We got a late start yesterday, which just happened to be our 12 th Anniversary. Ryan was recovering from double mids and I thought it'd be better to leave a little late than deal with a monster. So I let him sleep longer than he had wanted. That put us checking in at our hotel just after 2:00 AM. I had booked the room online so I just went in and got the room key while Bret and Ryan got our stuff out of the truck. When I got outside it was raining. Bret took the little kids and the stuff ahead of us. Ryan went to park and while he was parking a group of two guys and a girl were dropped off at the door. I was under the impression that they had just come from a nearby night club. The girl wasn't wearing any shoes! Must have been Bama Fans. I went on up to the room while Ryan parked. When Ryan got up the the room he was soaked (and a little irritated) because he had to park in the back of the hotel and they keep all the other doors locked.

I booked a suite and it was anything but. Two queen beds and a pull out loveseat. The loveseat looked like it had been mauled by a baby cheetah. The cushions had some rips in it and looked like it had seen better days. Really people, what are you doing in these hotel rooms?  ChaChi got right in a bed which is foreign to him because at home nobody gets in bed without a shower. Well right in the bed, after I striped the DNA contaminated comforter from the bed. I pulled out the loveseat and found that I would be the one making the "bed." My anxiety was in overdrive as I put my hand on the bar to pull out the bed. There was no mattress cover so I doubled up the two flat sheets that were provided. I have no idea how to properly put on a flat sheet.  I just wrapped that joker under the end of the mattress and told Bret it would be in his best interest if he didn't turnover a lot. Then I had to put the "pillow" in the case. What are these pitiful squares they call pillows?  OMGosh! I seriously almost lost it on this chore. It's like how do you put a pillow in the case without it touching your body. Bret was cracking me up with remarks like, "How does the biggest person here get the smallest bed." I was like it's just for a few hours and this room was almost the cheapest I could find. He said, "Oh, cheap is good as long as your comfort level isn't sacrificed. Haha That is so true.  Except, while he was outside the room on the phone I was inside freaking out making that darn bed.

Ryan and I showered and got in the bed. After making jokes and laughing about Bret sleeping on that little bed which Ansley referred to as a crib we turned the lights out.  All the lights were out except Bret's computer. It was bright enough to make light on the ceiling so I asked him to do some shadow hand puppets for me. He quickly obliged me with a crocodile then a bird and then what Ryan thought was a bunny. Bret kept on making shape after shape and then I got tickled thinking how funny it would be if I fell asleep and he continued to make shadow puppets. We were all cracking up! Then I tried to get comfortable but kept rolling to the middle of the mattress as did Ryan. So we decided if we turned back to back maybe we wouldn't roll to the middle as much. The room was quiet except for every time Bret moved it sounded like someone was trying to untangle a metal slinky.

This morning I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep so I got up and went to the bathroom. I turned the light on and the fan in the bathroom came on. I thought a helicopter may be trying to land in there it was so loud! Here is a pic of the door. Apparently, there was a hole here and someone thought this would be a good way to repair it. It is kind of hilarious; I'm not sure they wouldn't have been better off just leaving the hole.

Here is Bret on his cot. He slept with his feet on the coffee table because he didn't fit in the bed.

And that is how we spent our anniversary. Now on the to beach!

Things to do in Memphis...

When you don't have a pool. This is the south and let's face it, the summers are miserably hot. I'm pretty sure if you go outside in the summer and you don't have a pool you turn into beef jerky. It's so hot the homeless make signs that say, "Will work for shade." So the following is what have we done since we don't have a pool:

* Water Balloons

* The Brooks Museum is free on Wednesday. It has an art studio and kids can create projects to take home from 10:00 AM until noon. The Brooks is located right by the Memphis Zoo. In the summer, you can put your kids in their swimsuits and swim in the fountains. This is an especially fun thing for us because it just feels so wrong. It's a white trash activity at it's best. I wonder if they chlorinate the ponds? Oh, I shouldn't even let my mind wonder about those things.

* The Memphis Zoo

* Lichterman Nature Center has a couple of air-conditioned  buildings. A good place to go if you just want to get out of the house for a short time. They have a lot of walking trails but it is just too hot in the summer.

* Play Red Light/ Green Light using the water hose. You spray the person you catch moving after you've called red light.

* If you're not OCD you could go to the library. We choose the bookstore instead. There is just something about holding a book that has been checked out over and over again by strangers. You have no idea where those things have been.

*Run through the sprinklers. I can't wait until we get up a fence. There is something unsettling about a grown woman running through the sprinklers. I mean...I can imagine. For the neighbors, that is.

*Put a sprinkler under the trampoline and jump. This one is just for the kids. If you read my kegel post you know exactly what I mean.

* Pray one of your friends that have a pool will invite you over.

* Paint birdhouses.

* Drive in movie.  There is a Malco Drive in on Summer Ave.

* Slip and Slide. Yep, we really need to get on that fence.

* Watazumi

* Go to the Apple Store. Your kids can play on the iPads while you shop around. Next door is the Teavana store. Cruise through and sample the teas.

*Make a human size bird's nest. Don't worry the water was really close by at all times. My kids are creative...if nothing else.

Well, there is less than three short weeks before the kids head back to school.  We have a few more things on our list that we want to do. A stupid stomach bug has kept us in this week. So if you're running out of things to do I hope our list will give you some ideas. 

A Square Meal on Wheels Food Truck

Have you ever eaten off a food truck? No? What are you waiting on? Today, we visited the Lichterman Nature Center. They put out a free membership every May through memphismuseums.org. You could spend several hours there any other time of year. I guess that's why it's free for the summer.  There are two air conditioned buildings, that is where we spent our time.

 Feeding the "fish" seemed more like feeding the turtles and geese.

Now to the good stuff. I've been following A Square Meal on Wheels for several months hoping their location and ours would cross paths. Well, today was that day. Mr. Clark was parked about three minutes away from the nature center so we couldn't resist.

  Ansley ordered the fried shrimp. It came with fries and a dipping sauce. Ansley approved. 

 I ordered the fish tacos and an order of fried green tomatoes. ("Towanda! Face it ladies, I'm older and have more insurance" I mean can you eat fried green tomatoes without thinking of that movie? Obviously, I can't.)  Both of which are freshly made. I tried everything and this is what I loved best.  This food truck's claim to fame is the Lobster Rolls. I'll have to try them next time. I assure you, there will be a next time.

 ChaChi ordered the chicken fingers. They also came with fries and your choice of honey mustard, ranch or BBQ sauce. 

 This here is a piece of the Caramel Cake. I'd have to say it is a must have. It was so good! Moist and light but not too sweet! 

Don't be skeptical about eating off a food truck. Come on, everybody's doing it! Their health score was a 98. That is better than most sit down restaurants. We received friendly service and got our food fairly quick and hot. 

You can like Mr. Clark on Facebook @ A Square Meal on Wheels to find out where you can find him for lunch.

At the gym: Guys, don't be creepy

Back to the gym...again. This time I mean it.

So if you follow my blog you know I've been spending a lot of time at the doctor lately. That means getting on the scale. Not fun. Especially if you've gained some weight, like me. I've been saying, "I'm going to start eating right again and going to the gym on Monday." and then "No, I meant next Monday." Well, I  started my diet yesterday and due to another doctor's appointment I didn't make it. However, I did go this morning. I'll try to spare you all the details.

The gym was packed! I was prepared this time. I made sure that I put on underwear that actually fit! If you read http://split3ways.blogspot.com/2012/10/public-service-announcement.html you know what I mean. It was a total sausage fest when I first got there. It hadn't been like this before, mostly senior citizens and a good mix of men and women.

I'm just minding my business, doing a few back extensions. On a machine like this:

This is the starting position. As I'm fully extended I hear a whisper coming from behind me, "That's nice, mmmm hummm." I think did I just hear that, for real?! Surely not. I continue working out. I go to another machine and then back to the the back extension machine. Again, the guy walks behind me and more audibly says, "That's nice." After I'm finished with the machines, I go to the far corner of the gym and get on an elliptical machine. Where this guy continues to stare at me. As I go to get my keys to leave, he decides to take a bathroom break so that we almost run into each other.

Guys: Women do not find this flattering. We find it weird and creepy. The only thing it does for us, is consider getting an escort to our car.

Ok, maybe if he were much taller and hot it would have been a tiny bit flattering, maybe.