At the gym: Guys, don't be creepy

Back to the gym...again. This time I mean it.

So if you follow my blog you know I've been spending a lot of time at the doctor lately. That means getting on the scale. Not fun. Especially if you've gained some weight, like me. I've been saying, "I'm going to start eating right again and going to the gym on Monday." and then "No, I meant next Monday." Well, I  started my diet yesterday and due to another doctor's appointment I didn't make it. However, I did go this morning. I'll try to spare you all the details.

The gym was packed! I was prepared this time. I made sure that I put on underwear that actually fit! If you read http://split3ways.blogspot.com/2012/10/public-service-announcement.html you know what I mean. It was a total sausage fest when I first got there. It hadn't been like this before, mostly senior citizens and a good mix of men and women.

I'm just minding my business, doing a few back extensions. On a machine like this:

This is the starting position. As I'm fully extended I hear a whisper coming from behind me, "That's nice, mmmm hummm." I think did I just hear that, for real?! Surely not. I continue working out. I go to another machine and then back to the the back extension machine. Again, the guy walks behind me and more audibly says, "That's nice." After I'm finished with the machines, I go to the far corner of the gym and get on an elliptical machine. Where this guy continues to stare at me. As I go to get my keys to leave, he decides to take a bathroom break so that we almost run into each other.

Guys: Women do not find this flattering. We find it weird and creepy. The only thing it does for us, is consider getting an escort to our car.

Ok, maybe if he were much taller and hot it would have been a tiny bit flattering, maybe.

Kegels....another overshare moment.

I haven't been feeling well for about a month. I've had a pain in my left side and have been running a fever. It's not a bad pain, just enough to notice. I really didn't think much about the pain. Then, my family got the flu. ChaChi got it first and passed it on to me. Then Ansley had it and Ryan had something. We all got the Tamiflu and everyone was feeling better except me. I didn't feel as bad but I still didn't have any energy and continued to run a fever around 100. I went to the doctor and they took blood and urine. To keep this as short as possible, they found stuff in each and sent me home with antibiotics and steroids. After two weeks I wasn't much better and my white blood count was worse than before. I got more antibiotics and had and ultrasound and a CT scan. Both of which came back normal.

Today was my appointment with the urologist. They did a different ultrasound and then said as a precautionary measure they would like to scope my bladder. Ok, I wasn't prepared for this, to say the least. I have been for all these tests and scans and haven't had to take my pants off. I really just thought I was going to give another urine sample and talk about the test results.

I can't remember the last time I've shaved my legs! I mean it's winter. Ain't nobody got time for that. So they take me back to the room and tell me to disrobe and cover with a paper sheet. Then a girl comes in and asks me to put my feet in the stirrups and disinfects my lady parts. How weird is this? I'm like we just met, could we at least talk about the weather for a moment. Could I at least get your name or tell you my favorite color. Then the doctor opens the door and comes into the room. I think, "Well, hello did everyone in the hall see my poontang?" They numbed me, ran the scope and filled my bladder. So I'm laying there looking at my bladder and I ask if they do bladder slings. I figure I've payed my copay I need to find all I can. He says, "Why, do you leak?" I say, "Yeah, sometimes." This was a mistake. After he got finished with the scope he places his head uncomfortably close to my not so private anymore region and asks me to cough. I do and he says it looks fine to him. Then he asks me to stand up and cough again. Lord, have mercy. Is there no shame?! I stand up and he kneels down in front of me and I cough again. He tells me everything looks good and that my bladder has fallen a little but nothing to be concerned about. What? My bladder has fallen and it can't get up! I feel like I should be concerned.

So I'm standing there with my bladder so full I thought it may burst. I have the "sheet" wadded up and placed between my legs. He then asks me if I know what kegels are. I tell him yes and he continues to explain to me all about  kegels. Please try to picture this: he's looking at me very intense and he takes his hand and makes a fist and tightens and relaxes it several times. Showing me this is how to do them. He says do about ten quick ones and other times squeeze and hold. Then he looks me in my eyes and says, "See, just like that. I'm doing mine right now." It was all I could do to hold in my laughter and my urine. He says to do them in the car while I'm sitting at red lights or when I'm talking on the phone. Then he gives me these little blue stickers to put on my rear view mirror and on my phone or just anywhere as a reminder to do my kegels. Sounds like a Dr. Seuss book. Do your kegels on the phone. Do your kegels on the way home. Do your kegels on the pot. Do your kegels, you'll like it a lot.

After all of these appointments, tests, loss of dignity and prescriptions he says it was all probably just a bladder infection. I'm just happy to be feeling better! Well gotta run...there are kegels to be done.

Craigslist: For a good time call or text Bruce.

I love Craigslist. I just bought some dining chairs off Craigslist that are super hideous. I hope when I finish their makeover they will look like I envision. Even when I'm not looking for anything I like to check it out. I like to read the missed connections, rants and the free stuff. I don't know why but it is totally amusing to me.

This morning I was looking through the free stuff and came across this ad:

Play boy magazines (Bruce)

I have around a ten year collection of playboy magazines kidz are getting older really need to just get ride of them u must take them all call or text 6624145353

My thoughts were that he had to make a conscious decision to place this ad. Like these magazines are so valuable to him that he just couldn't throw them away. He literally wanted someone to "enjoy" them as much as he had. Gross. Really, Bruce? I won't even check out a regular book from the library. For years my kids thought that Barnes and Noble was the library. 

The wording of the ad further cracked me up. "U must take them all" he really put thought into this ad. He didn't want someone coming to look at his collection and start flipping through the mags deciding which ones they fancied.  Or maybe he thought he wouldn't be able to complete the transaction if the interested party lingered too long. I can just imagine that exchange and hope that it would be awkward.

Uh yeah, I'm calling about the free porn...Oh, I can just come and pick them up...will your kids be home?

 

Watazumi Southaven MS: Impromptu Fun

It's that time of year where the kids activities seem to overlap. Ansley just wrapped up cheer on Tuesday. Both of the kids started basketball three weeks ago and two weeks ago I signed them up for tumbling.

Ryan had ridden with us to get ChaChi's allergy shots as soon as he got home from work. Then we sat through an hour of tumbling. He was just ready to come home and relax. I really needed to come home and start dinner. But I spotted this glorious, monstrosity of a slide: Watazumi. I couldn't help myself. I just had to stop and check out this slide.  If you've ever driven by Snowden Grove, you have seen it. I have always thought of stopping but it hasn't ever been inflated. Tonight it was inflated and the kids saw it and asked if we could stop. I could tell Ryan wasn't really up for it but my car just pulled off the road toward the slide. It was really out of my control, really.

We get out and find the person running the slide. The slide wasn't really open. The owner was just there doing some maintenance . He was kind enough to let the kids slide. Straight out of tumbling the kids were dressed in shorts and short sleeved shirts. I'm sure he thought we were crazy because he asked, "do y'all have jackets?" Of course we didn't. Then he says they may want to take their shoes off. Barefoot, through the wet grass and mud the kids made their way up to the top of the 65 feet tall slide, I think they counted 50 steps. ChaChi was the first one down which really surprised me because he is the chicken of the two. Later, Ansley revealed that she told him to go first because she wanted to see what it would be like. After we watched ChaChi go down we were like, "Oh man that was awesome!" The owner, I think it was Rob, said "y'all should give it a try." What? Me? Slide? Well, heck yeah! I think I will. Ryan and I kicked off our shoes and headed up the slide. When I got to the top, I have to admit I was surprised how high up we were. OH MY GOSH! I screamed all the way down, all 265 feet! It was such a great feeling. I felt like a kid again.  The slide is $5.00 for three trips down or $10.00 for unlimited. Worth. Every. Penny. When I got off the slide I ran(in my socks, mind you) to the steps to go back up. ChaChi said he can't remember the last time he had that much fun.

My point in all this rambling: don't get too busy to have fun. I know the responsible thing would have been to come home and cook dinner and get the kids in bed on time. So what? The kids had an egg sandwich and got in bed an hour late. In exchange for a great time, totally worth it. Do over!

It is usually only open on the weekends but as luck would have it, the owner was there doing some maintenance. It is priced at $5.00 for three trips down the slide or $10.00 for unlimited sliding

Update:

I cannot say enough good things about Watazumi. We spent the day there yesterday. For the summer it is a water slide. When you arrive there are a nice group of trees to park under. Make your way to the cute little barn, get your wrist band and prepare to have a good time.

Watazumi

6674 Snowden Lane, Southaven MS 38672

                                      Summer Hours                                           

             Monday - Thursday 10:00 AM to 10:00 PM                  

             Friday - Saturday     10:00 AM to 11:00 PM                  

  Sunday                       2:00 PM to 10:00 PM  

                  

Cost

$15.00 For an all day pass. Come and go as you please. Just make sure you leave your wristband on.

What to bring with you: If you're sliding wear a swim suit or shorts and a t-shirt is fine too. Bring chairs or a blanket.  Towels for the sliders. There are plenty of shady places to sit. Bring a cooler with drinks and snacks. Going up all those steps works up an appetite. On the weekends they show movies. Check their Facebook for update about what movie will be showing.Watazumi

Picture Frame Menu

Here is what my menu usually looks like. Well, since we moved into the new house. In our last house, I kept a large white board in the pantry. It seems as the kids have taken claim to it as it's in Ansley's room with "Ansley Rocks" and "ChaChi's Cool" all over it. 

I spotted this frame at Target today and thought it would look great in my kitchen.

 What do you know? There is a Michael's right next to Target. I was originally looking for a cool chevron pattern. They didn't have anything so I thought it would be a good idea to just get some "themed" scrapbook paper and change them out monthly. So I got this for February.

I just took the insert that comes with the frame and laid it on the scrapbook paper, decorative side down. I used a small piece of tape to hold the insert in place while I was cutting it to shape.

I went ahead and picked up some shamrocks for March.

I can't decide if I want to get some vinyl letters to put on the glass. I don't usually do my menu on the same day every week. 

ChaChi wanted to jump right in and fill out our first menu.

He thought it should start on Sunday, even though today is Tuesday.

Finished Project

Here is a translation: S - Pizza and Salad

                                 M- Enchiladas 

                                 T- Buffalo Chicken Wrap
                                 W- Fajitas (so funny) Fuheatu hahaha
                                  T- Grilled Cheese and Soup
                                  F- Fried Chicken, Mac and Cheese and Green Beans
                                  S- Lasagna and Salad

ChaChi has already asked if he can fill out the menu for next week. 

Stay at Home Moms

I haven't worked since I was seven months pregnant with Ansley. Ryan works a crazy schedule and I'm not real keen on leaving my kids with anyone. As I mentioned before, I don't have any real skills so we decided I'd stay home to care for our trophies. It cracks me up the things people will ask me to do for them "because I don't work."

I wonder, do all stay at home moms get this treatment? I get asked if I will keep people's kids while they work a full time job. I'm like, do you even know me? I don't just love kids. I love my kids but that is pretty much it. I can understand asking me this once but I make it very clear that I am not interested and they continue to ask. I chose to stay home to raise my kids, not yours.

I've been called last minute to see if I could just swing by and decorate for a birthday party. I've also been called and the person will say, "so and so just had a baby,  and how they would just love to be able to take a meal over but they work...so could I do it for them?" I'm thinking my kids will be lucky if they get some Ramen thrown at them and you think I have enough groceries in my house to whip up a nice meal for someone in a few hours?! Don't get me wrong, I will help someone in need. I just don't appreciate people "suggesting" what I should do.

I recently had an older lady that lives with her son's family, ask me if I would teach her to drive! What? Are you serious? What does that even mean? I'm just standing there like a deer in headlights with all these thoughts racing through my mind. Have you had a nervous breakdown and your family doesn't want you to have a license? Why are you asking me and not them? Oh yeah, I don't work and they do. Whose insurance would cover you if you crashed my car? What would Ryan say? How do you even respond to such a request? That's when I remembered I'm late to pick up a kid from school and leave abruptly.

It has even been suggested that maybe I shouldn't be such a fat butt because I'm a SAHM. I suppose I could spend countless hours at the gym, you know because I don't have anything better to do. I'll admit I really should get back in the gym. I keep telling myself I'll get back. I'm taking baby steps right now. I recently started getting up in the morning and putting my workout clothes on. I'm trying to build up to driving to the gym, if I could only make it inside...but that's a whole other issue.

What blows my mind more than anything is the requests are almost always prefaced with, "I know you don't work" or "since you stay home..."

To clear up any doubt SAHM's don't really just stay at home and twiddle their thumbs all day! Obviously, I have time to blog and fb with the occasional Pinterest thrown in. I try to watch as much television as possible and nap, oh the naps. Seriously though, when I worked I probably thought the same thing. I remember ditching work  having the day off and going to the mall and seeing all the other moms there pushing their little strollers around and I just thought they had it made! Staying home and working moms both have their own perks. I think SAHM's just volunteer for more things and we do "work" we just don't get paid for what we do.

So, if you are a stay at home mom, have you ever been asked to do something because "I know you don't work?"

If you're a working mom, what's your take on the subject?

I've been both and I really thought working a full time job was easier. However, that was with one child and I was much younger. Now, I see moms that work with multiple children and I seriously wonder how they do all they do. Maybe that's why they ask me to drop off their dry cleaning.

Quick and Easy Tuna Casserole

Tuna Casserole

Ingredients: 

2 cans of tuna

2 cups of elbow noodles

2 cups of shredded cheddar

2 cups of frozen veggies (what ever your family likes)

1 can of cream of chicken or cream of mushroom soup

1/2 cup of parmesan cheese

1/2 cup of milk

Preheat oven to 350.

Bring pot of water to boil. Cook elbows according to package. I put my frozen veggies in the same pot. I figure the fewer the dishes I have to wash the better. You can cook them separately if you prefer.

Flake tuna in casserole dish. I use the casserole dish because I hate to wash dishes so why dirty extra dishes.

Drain noodles and veggies.

Put noodles and veggies back into the pot. Mix the tuna, veggies, noodles, soup, 1 of the cups of cheddar cheese, parmesan cheese and milk. Mix well. 

Lightly spray casserole dish with nonstick spray.

Put into a casserole dish and top with the remainder of the cheddar cheese.

Bake in preheated oven for 25-30 minutes.

Super easy and quick!

Forgot the parmesan cheese and milk but you get the idea.